Danielle Glynn initially came to be a caregiver and foster parent through caring for and adopting members of her own family. She adopted three of her husband’s kids from a previous marriage, they had one child of their own, and she adopted two of her second cousins. Then in 2019 she became a caregiver for Xyólheméylh with two Métis babies who are now ages six and five.  She also has two more Métis children in her home, ages three and two, who she has had in her care since they were infants. Throughout the years she has cared for a number of other children who have been returned to their families.

Danielle is from the Mi:kmaq First Nation in Nova Scotia and grew up with a strong sense of Indigenous culture and a love for children. “I love children, I’ve always been involved with kids and I love helping families,” says Danielle. “Kids keep you young and it teaches my own children about helping others.” She believes that it’s very important to keep the children in her care connected to their culture, even sometimes when their biological families don’t.

She treats the children’s families as extensions of her own and believes that they should be treated with respect. She also likes to stay connected to the children when they are returned to their families, so it’s important to maintain good relations with the families. “Kindness changes everything,” says Danielle.

She says she is happy to see children returned to their families because that is what is best for them, but admits it can be difficult, especially when it’s sudden. She recalls two children she had in her care who went to visit their father out-of-province and were suddenly returned to him during the visit, without the proper goodbyes and preparation. That was tough on Danielle, but she has since reconnected with the children.

Danielle and other caregivers make a huge difference, offering safe and loving homes. We lift our hands to Danielle and all the Xyólheméylh caregivers. If you are interested in becoming a caregiver we have info sessions the second Wednesday of the month at 6:30 pm and the third Tuesday of the month at noon. Contact Norma Commodore at: [email protected] to register.

Jolene Anderson says her practicum placement with Xyólheméylh which began in 2005 helped her get her life back on track. She came to the Xyólheméylh as a single mother of three, a victim of domestic abuse and addicted to crystal meth.

“I began to see myself in a different light. Living disconnected from my community and family for most of my life, the agency was the first time I had a true connection to what it was to a healthy attachment. I truly believe it saved my life. I looked up to the social workers and they accepted me and took me in as their family. I was valued,” says Jolene.

She stayed with Xyólheméylh for five years until she made the decision to move back home to Neskonlith First Nations near Chase, BC on unceded Secwepemc territory. She finished a Masters of Social Work with Indigenous specialization from the University of Victoria and has worked for years as the band representative for her community. She now has her own business called Sacred Waters which helps Indigenous people address various topics such as grief and loss, addictions, safety concerns, child welfare involvement and general trauma.

“My biggest lessons that I want to share to agencies and families is that although I felt alone, I was never really alone. When I was a child who was having her own children, it wasn't that my mother didn't care for me. We didn't have a chance, residential school had taken my mother's voice from her long before I was ever born,” says Jolene. While studying for her Bachelor of Social Work, she asked her mother about her experience at residential school. Initially she said that nothing bad happened, but after some discussion she said she was taken away at the age of six and forbidden to speak her language.

“What I learned about trauma is that trauma is not the actual event that happened to you, it's what happened in your heart that is the trauma. By taking away my mother's freedom to speak what was given to her as part of her identity, she had internalized the belief that whatever happens to her, is her own fault; therefore, having her believe it is not safe to be herself, or to show/express her authenticity. That is the real trauma and tragedy that has repeated throughout generations. So how could she show me authentic, safe, love when I needed it?” says Jolene.

Jolene also says she learned that trauma has the ability to disconnect us from ourselves and others. “This is what happened to the generations in my family and why I truly believe the healing is at reconnecting Indigenous people with themselves, their families, and their culture – self-identity and belonging are they keys to our recovery and wellness,” says Jolene. 

Jolene says it’s been a gift to help other Indigenous people from intergenerational wounds so that they can experience authentic, loving, and safe relationships. She does this through facilitating trauma parenting workshops and family circles and counselling. The trauma parenting workshop is not only educational but it also intended to be relational, meaning that it's also a support group. It allows for parents, grandparents, caregivers to share their challenges and wisdoms. It's meant to teach individuals about trauma and reflect, learn, and grow as individuals, families, and communities.

“The workshops allow individuals to reclaim their voices and create a safe environment to share and be vulnerable. Just as in my healing journey, the healing starts with them at the center. It helps them recognize, acknowledge their own feelings, internal beliefs, and allows space to different choices,” says Jolene.  

“As a social worker I worked hard to provide the immediate needs of people but I really wanted help by getting to the root cause of trauma. This had to start with learning about my own trauma first. I've learned how trauma bonds have kept me from learning the truth and from growing and healing as an individual and in my relationships. With this knowledge, I am better equipped to be a grandparent. I also raise two of my grandchildren now. I say it's my second chance,” says Jolene.